The Snack Shop.

I received a message from cousin Sally yesterday. The message read, "Your Village Idiot of Las Vegas blog is vulgar." She also wanted to know - "Where I picked up my potty mouth from?" For as long as I can remember cousin Sally has sported a holier than thou attitude. The sensible thing for me to do would be to simply ignore her. Which I plan to do after this post is complete. But she did specifically ask where I formed my potty mouth. The answer is simple: The Snack Shop in Madison, Kansas.

The Snack Shop was an establishment of a bygone era. It was a place where a kid could be a kid. It sported three or four video games, a couple of eating booths, a soda machine, hamburgers & French fries and an array of the finest characters Madison, Kansas had to offer. If Peter Pan wanted to grow up and be Dice Clay - the Snack Shop would have been the place for him.

"You stupid bleepsucker! Bleep you! Give me another bleeping quarter. Donkey Kong you suck bleeps!" Hanging out in the Snack Shop was like watching a never ending Richard Pryor stand up routine. "Astle, you are a bleephead! You bleeping bleephole!" The leader of the Snack Shop potty mouth gang was none other than my good friend Arthur Spotter, better known as Arthole. If anyone in the tri county area deserved to have their mouth washed out with soap - it was him.

"Arthole, why do you swear so much?" I remember asking him that exact question many years ago. And I still remember his answer like it was yesterday - "Because I bleeping like to. So bleep you!" Arthole wasn't the only guy in town who needed his mouth washed out with soap. There was my buddy Pecker (his real name was Peter) but everyone called him Pecker. As far as I know, he still holds the Madison record for most swear words spurted in a minute...believe it or not, such a contest existed at the Snack Shop.

There were many other characters from the Snack Shop who influenced me as well. But for posterity's sake, I will refrain from mentioning them. My goal was to simply answer cousin Sally's question as pertains to where I learned to talk (vulgar). The answer is the Snack Shop in Madison, Kansas.