A lot of the times it was up to me, myself and I to keep entertained at Madison High. With that said, my old high school chum Arthole and I would play a game called Raid the Shitter. The rules of the game were simple. If one of us caught the other on the crapper, the other would kick in the door on the stall and yell "Raid!" Arthole was a much better at the game than me. But on the particular day I am about to reference. It was my turn to pin him down:
As I was hitting the John right before fifth period I notice a pair of shoes in one of the stalls that looked familiar. I peek quickly through the space on the stall door to make sure it was who I thought it was. A wide smile cracks on my face when I see Arthole sitting on the stool without a suspicion in the world. A few weeks previous he literally scared the crap out of me when he kicked the stall door open on me and yelled, "Raid!" It was now time for me to even the score.
"This is a fucking raid! Get your hands in the air asshole!" Those were my exact words as I reared back and kicked the stall door open. It startled him to the point he fell completely off the toilet and onto the bathroom floor; thus hitting his head. He then looks up at me from the floor and says, "Astle, you motherfucker. I hit my head and shit myself. You fucking prick!" - Looking back, I wish I would have had a camera phone. It would have made for an awesome Youtube video. Now, as I'm standing at the sink washing my hands with a big sense of accomplishment. I feel a sudden force to my temple. Thus causing me to go dark.
When I come to a few moments later I see Arthole standing over me yelling. He had sucker punched me. An instant rage took hold and I charged him like a raving lunatic. "You asshole! I am going to kill you!" I yelled as my fist were flying towards his melon. "You deserved it," he tells me as he is attempting to ward off my blows. "I was getting you back for the time you got me asshole!" I scream as I finally pin him down. As I am getting ready to pummel him a sudden force grabs both my arms and pulls them straight in the air. It was our football coach Mr. Dolan - "You two had better calm it down right now or I will send both of you to the principal's office." he states firmly. It wasn't worth getting kicked out of school for, so I got up and walked away. As I was leaving the scene I told Arthole to meet me at the park after school and we would settle things. He never showed.
Not long after the incident both of us were laughing about it. "We both deserved it," was our mutual thought. We also came to another mutual conclusion. Raid the Shitter was a game best setting on the shelf.
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