"Legend, how many women have you actually done it with?" Hands down the coolest cat in all of Greenwood County was a bloke named Roy Compton. He was so cool that no one ever called him Roy - it was simply Legend. "More women than you can count on all your fingers, toes and whiskers - Astle," he answers with a hint of arrogance in his tone. He then says this with a laugh, "How many girls have you done it with Astle?" Before I could muster up a lie, he answers for me. "The answer would be zip!"
"Astle, listen to this," judging by the tone in his voice I could tell another story was on the menu. "The other night I was with this gal from Emporia for the first time and things started to get heavy, and then she looks at me and says - 'The only reason I am with you is because Naomi told me that you know how to eat pussy.' You know what I told her right after she said that? I said, 'You're about to find out for yourself bitch." Legend was a larger than life character in Greenwood County. His libido and bravado would have made James Bond envious.
"Legend, tell me about that time you banged the chick from El Dorado on the fifty yard line of the Madison High football field again. That's my favorite story!" The story wasn't complete until you bragged to your buddies about it multiple times. And Legend was no exception. "This broad, I don't even hardly know her, comes to town with a girl from Eureka that I wanted to bang," he tells me with an excited storyteller's look on his face. "As we're cruising around town drinking the chick from Eureka passes out. So me and this bitch from El Dorado start playing grab ass after that. She then grabs a hold of my schwank and says, 'Have you ever done it on the fifty yard line?' I tell her no, and she tells me to head to the football field. Twenty minutes later I am knee deep on the Bulldog logo of the Madison High football field. It was awesome!"
As we are sitting there laughing I request another story from him. "Did I tell you about the gal from Burlington who gave me a blow job while I was taking her home?" I shook my head no. "Joe Bob had this chick from Burlington in town last week. He was trying to nail her and she didn't want nothing to do with him. Anyways, she asks me to give her a ride back to Burlington and I politely oblige. Of course, I took the country roads. About half way there, she says this to me - 'I think you're cute. All the girls in Burlington like you. I want to suck you off. Is that OK with you?" Only Legend would be so fortunate. He was one of those guys who could fall into a pile of heaping pig shit and still come out smelling like a rose. "After she said that, I didn't say anything. I just nodded. And the next thing you know she has my pig sticker in her mouth. I thought I was going to crash a few times," he then grabs his cheeks and begins to pull them apart in an attempt to simulate the sounds of oral sex. It was hilarious!
This past weekend I was telling my friend Roxy about Legend and how all the dudes at Madison High worshipped him. And she tells me this - "Why is it that most guys think a women is a slut or a whore when she sleeps with multiple people? And yet you, to this very day, still think your friend Legend is God. That doesn't make sense to me." Roxy has a short fuse a lot of the times so I've learned to be real careful in a lot of my responses. "Roxy, when a dude sleeps with a lot of good looking women, at least back then, he was a stud. Women sleeping around were whores. That's just the way society sees it. Don't blame me. I'm not the one who made the rules." All she did was nod in agreement.
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